a different kind of challenge

Wow - so a week has flown by since my results post and I have to say, it was a weird one. Flew back to Australia to stay with my grandparents so I could get to an audition. Usually the motivation exists up to the day of the audition (sometimes not even that long cuz I crack under the pressure!) and to make it even more difficult, there was the added challenge of sticking to my diet while travelling and faced with extra temptation and lack of my usual supplies (oh, and a grandmother who is border-line OVER hospitable when it comes to food!) ...so this was a scary trip!


The lead up to the audition was smoother than expected - I documented all my eating (even when it was a pain in my butt, trying to figure out the calorie content of aeroplane food and other stuff that I didn't prepare myself), resisted takeaway temptations and while I didn't quite stick to 1200 calories a day, it wasn't much above that most days (and my days were much longer than back at home anyway so I needed to compensate for that).


And then the audition came... and went... a hell of a lot quicker than expected! And I prepared myself for the emotional eating binge than generally, no, ALWAYS, follows a disappointment... but it never came. I have been loving waking up each morning looking and feeling better than the day before so much that I just wasn't prepared to give it all up for one bad day! I don't recognise this side of me and I'm starting to not recognise myself in the mirror either! I thought that as long as I didn't put on any weight while I was gone, that I'd be happy, but it seems there's a fire in my belly now (metaphorically AND physically!) that just won't settle for the old half-arsed attempt at reaching these goals. I'm all in and it feels GOOD!


Oh, and it may seem lame and superficial but it is true... Dealing with disappointment is so much easier when your base level of self-confidence is so much higher. There's just not as far to fall! Say what you want about needing to accept yourself for who you are... as far as I'm concerned, I'm only fixing the problems that I caused by treating my body badly in the past - and this is me just trying to achieve my full potential, not trying to change who I am as a whole. And that's enough ranting for tonight! I look forward to weighing in and measuring up tomorrow to see if I managed to achieve anything while away from the gym and outside of my diet comfort zone. Until then...